Suicide in the United States is ranked third for young people aged 15 to 19. There is one suicide every 15.2 seconds. I am a suicide survivor. I have decided to tell my testimony to encourage someone who may not be feeling like there is hope in life. I want to let you know that God has you here for a purpose. I pray that you are inspired by my testimony, and that you choose to live and not die!

I am 39 years old, and I was raised in the Bronx. I received my bachelor’s degree from Binghamton University and my master’s degree from New York University. Growing up, I lived with my mom, who died when I was six years old. After my mom died, I lived with my grandmother, but I had a hard time adjusting to life. I believed I was the reason my mother died, and if I was never born, she would have lived.

I got baptized, for I loved God, and I understood his power, but I was still struggling with suicide. I made many attempts, my last attempt was in graduate school. My boyfriend – now husband – had no way of being able to reach out to help me. All he knew was that he loved me and wanted to see me overcome this. I started to feel a disconnection in church; I felt that no one was going through anything close to what I was going through, so I felt even more alienated and lost.

One night my boyfriend and I were walking to my college dorm, and something told me to run into oncoming traffic, and I started to run into the street. My boyfriend pulled me back and said, “What is wrong with you? I love you, but you have to stop behaving like this.” I was embarrassed and ashamed as I walked back to my dorm alone. I went upstairs to my room on the 13th floor. I looked out of the window, and as I looked down, it seemed as though if I jumped, I would not get hurt. As I stepped onto the ledge, I heard a voice say, “STOP!” I cried out to God to help me because I couldn’t take it anymore. From that moment, I never wanted to commit suicide again. Satan used many tricks and devices to get me to that place of anger, depression, suicide, and low self-esteem.

Satan will take a negative situation and make it more negative, but God will take a negative situation and turn it around for good. God has called all of us to be saved; He loves his children. The issue that is holding you back is also stopping your relationship with Christ. God wants you to be happy, prosperous, joyful, contentious, and most importantly, he wants you to feel loved. I thank God for restoration. I learned that God does not make mistakes. His promises are true and just. Our flesh cannot see past the pain, but if we remember God’s word, we will live victoriously.

What does being FREED mean to you?
Being FREED means you are no longer bound to the enemy's lies, but you are free to be who God calls you to be.
What are you FREED from?
I am FREED from suicide and low self-esteem.