Human reason teaches us that bad things only happen to bad people. However, the truth is, we live in a fallen world and bad things do happen to good people. Look at Jesus, He was perfect, and sinless; however, he was crucified for our sins. He didn’t do anything wrong, yet He suffered. The Bible says, “The rain falls on the just and the unjust” (Matthew 5:45). This Scripture reminds me that suffering and hardship is part of life. However, I know that there is always a purpose behind the pain.
You know a lot of times you don’t realize you are being deceived until God reveals the truth to you. For many years in my life, I walked in deception. I came from a family that had strong faith; however, their beliefs were very different. My father’s family believed in Hinduism while my mother’s family believed in Christianity. My paternal grandfather was considered a Hindu priest while my maternal grandfather was a pastor. Therefore, growing up I was confused in what to believe.
Unfortunately, when I was about 8 years old my maternal grandparents passed away. The unexpected death of my mother’s parents took a toll on her, and eventually my parents got divorced. My father was granted custody, which resulted in me living with his parents.
My paternal grandparent’s faith in Hinduism taught them to believe in many gods. I remember growing up and seeing statues of the different gods that they worshipped and prayed to. My grandparents participated in various ritualistic ceremonies. In addition, they believed in reincarnation and in karma. Therefore, they believed if something bad happens then you must have done something to deserve it. Growing up with this mindset placed a lot of pressure on me. I struggled with a spirit of perfectionism and making sure I pleased everyone.
However, a turning point in my life took place once I got married. After two years of marriage, I found out I was pregnant. My husband and I were so excited that we told everyone we were expecting a child. While I was pregnant, I kept having these negative thoughts that kept saying, “You’re going to lose this baby, just like your coworker did.” I remember being so worried that these negative thoughts began to consume my mind. You see, the job I was working at got shutdown for cancer-causing chemicals, and a coworker was pregnant during this time and lost her child. Eventually, the voice got louder and I was filled with so much anxiety, doubt, and unbelief that I ended up miscarrying.
I was devastated, ashamed, and embarrassed because everyone knew about my pregnancy. I fell into a deep depression. I couldn’t stop crying and didn’t want to get out of bed. I kept thinking about what my family must have thought, whether or not I did something bad because I miscarried. I started to analyze everything in my life to see what I did to deserve my child dying.
However, I am so thankful that during this difficult time I had people praying for me. I know even though my maternal grandparents died when I was young, I thank God their prayers never did. I believe I am saved today because I had praying grandparents that served Jesus and preached the truth!
I am grateful for prayer, Christian television, and the Bible, because these spiritual tools helped me to heal and recover. One particular Bible story that comforted me was the story about the blind man. “The Pharisees asked Jesus who sinned that caused this man to be blind. Was it this man or his parents? Jesus replied, neither this happened so that I may be glorified” (John: 1-12). I realized at that moment I didn’t do anything wrong to deserve this; I was being deceived by the enemy and the lies of this world.
If I had never miscarried, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. During this difficult moment in my life was when I found the truth… JESUS. “He is The Way, The Truth and The Life” (John 14:6). Jesus delivered and set me free. He exposed the lies of the enemy. I know now, “The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. God came to give you life and life more abundantly” (John 10:10). This experience caused me to seek Jesus and allow Him to purify my life.
Once I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, He restored everything I lost in the storm. In less than 3 months after my miscarriage, I got baptized and I got pregnant. On July 3, 2014, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. God gave me double for my trouble because on May 14, 2017, on Mother’s Day, the Lord blessed me with another son. I have to be honest, I cannot imagine being a mom without Jesus. God has used this trial to deepen my Christian walk and transform me into His image and likeness.
Looking back now, I can tell you my paternal grandparents were the most loving and respectful people you would have ever met. They taught me amazing values and ethics. However, because they believed in Hinduism and served other gods, this opened the door for sin. They followed traditions that were passed down from their ancestors. In my heart, I know they didn’t know any better; they just did what they were taught.
I felt free to know that I broke these generational curses and I was no longer being deceived. I’m so thankful that God mantled me with the Spirit Of Truth and opened my spiritual eyes. God showed me I needed to repent and confess the iniquities of my forefathers. Once I did that, I knew the Lord separated me completely from the sins of my forefathers by the precious blood of Jesus. Those inherited generational curses needed to end with me. The Bible tells us that Jesus came and died on the cross conquering Satan, so that we can be set free from curses (See Galatians 3:13). I may be the first person that accepted Christ in my father’s family but I know I won’t be the last. Today, I am committed to teaching my children and others not to walk in deception but in the truth. Just like Jesus set me free, I want to help others become free as well.
The Bible says, “Consider it all joy when you encounter trials and tribulations because God is perfecting your faith and your character” (James 1:2). We are all going to go through difficult things in life but know God will walk you through the storm and you will come out better than before.