Everything in me wanted all the pieces of the puzzle to come together just how I always envisioned it. For a while, it seemed like it finally did, but the gratification that I expected to receive was nowhere to be found. Something just did not feel right and I wasn’t sure why. What was wrong? I did most things right and repented for the things I did wrong. On paper it all made sense, but I know it just didn’t feel right. Months later the thread began to unravel and I saw a glimpse of what had been causing the uneasiness of my heart.
Sometimes we think we are ready for the storm and I felt like I was prepared. However, I had no clue that the storm I was preparing for was going to be a category 5. I was thinking more like a 3, but no. A full-fledged category 5 storm that uprooted trees and tossed cars like popcorn hit me. My world was crushed. My dreams. My plans. My heart burst at the seams. After the disbelief, the pain, embarrassment, fear, and shame oozed out; God’s love remained.
What amazes me is that I truly believe that I was beautifully broken. Out of the weeds and thorns, God used that storm to cultivate me, to allow me to dig deeper roots, to make me see how desperately I need him daily. I was beautifully broken and restored. In the midst of the storm I just wanted to get back to my life before, but God had bigger and better plans for me. He didn’t just take me back, He began to expose every broken piece of me and day by day made me new. I have yet to arrive, but daily I am discovering how to live and even thrive after being broken.
Some days are easier than others, but God is bigger than any storm we face. Through the storm, I found FREEDOM and joy like never before. I was so amazed at how I could be filled with so much peace when my world was beyond dysfunctional. That freedom that I experienced birthed much more in me than I could have ever expected. Out of my storm, FREED Magazine was birthed.
My prayer is that FREED Magazine will allow the real, raw, unfiltered truth of testimonies and God’s redemptive power to saturate the lives of readers. No more shame, guilt, or isolation – we need to be FREED and I hope through authenticity that breakthroughs will happen throughout the world.
Editor in Chief, FREED Magazine